Month: June 2019

People who are resilient are happier over the long term than people who aren’t. We all get defeated sometimes, but people who are able to find some good in bad situations are more likely to thrive and find joy again. People who can take some actionable steps to focus not on their wounds but on how to make changes for the better (i.e., perhaps doing something they love or finding something good in their day) are able to grow from their experiences rather than being dragged down by them. Look for something to celebrate even in defeat, and you, too, will become a more resilient and happier person. 

Use conflict resolution techniques on a regular basis when you are dealing with conflicts and disagreements. For example, when trying to resolve a conflict, do so with a calm, thoughtful, and respectful demeanor. Show courtesy, kindness, empathy, and understanding. Listen to both sides and demonstrate your desire for a constructive solution. It may be necessary to restate the problem, paraphrasing it in your own words so that both sides are satisfied that you truly understand what’s going on. Impress your desire to find a solution upon both parties. At all times, speak calmly and avoid being confrontational and aggressive. When the optimal solution is found, happiness and peace will again prevail.

Think of five factors that are absolutely vital to the success of your goal. Write them on sticky paper or note cards and place them where you can see and think about them. For example, do you dream of starting your own business? Then you will have to know everything you can possibly know about your product and your ideal customers, have a business plan, find enough capital, and establish the proper price point for your product, for example. Knowing what is vital to the success of your goal will help you realistically reach your dreams. 

Before a parent, grandparent, great aunt, or great uncle gets any older, ask him or her to join you for a recorded chat. Make it informal and begin with easy questions that can serve as points of departure into his or her story: When were you born? In what town, village, or city? Who were your parents? What kind of work did they do? Then ask open-ended questions: Can you tell me about your earliest memories? What was life like for you growing up in your town? Ask questions about certain periods in their life, such as their childhood, teen years, middle age, and golden years, for example. Once you’ve recorded those memories, even after your relative has passed away, you can relive those moments and feel joyful that you took the time to make the video. 

Having a mentor can put you on the fast track in your job or propel your career into liftoff. Just asking someone to mentor you suggests to others that you are eager to move ahead and that you may even be an overachiever. If you have a career or job that requires special skills, why not seek out several mentors, one for each specialized area? Some career strategists believe that mentors are vital if you desire to rise quickly through the ranks. Plus, they can be wonderful allies to have as you pursue your dreams. A bonus is that both protégés and mentors seem to benefit from such relationships. 

If you’re feeling lonely and that loneliness is making you unhappy, then do some- thing about it. Visit a few online dating sites and research their audience demo- graphics and their criteria for joining. Choose two or three sites that might allow you to find the type of potential partner you desire. Join one. While dating is still about meeting new people, dating sites make it easier than ever to meet those potential partners because you can state exactly what you are looking for. You just might meet some great people in the process! 

Next time you’re traveling, sample some of the local cuisine—find a little restaurant that offers tapas or mezze or appetizers and try all of them. In the United Kingdom, go for some pub grub and a pint. In Belgium or Switzerland, tantalize your taste buds with some fine chocolate. Or for a really adventurous taste experience, try some haggis in Scotland or a plate of pickled pig’s feet in northern Spain. Wherever you go, ask the locals about tasty regional specialties. If traveling abroad doesn’t fit into your budget, grab a friend and go to a restaurant in your area that serves a cuisine you are unfamiliar with. Talk to your server about what he or she recommends and then go for it. Experiment and have fun! 

Build a nest egg for yourself: open a traditional or Roth individual retirement ac- count (IRA) and put the maximum amount that the IRS will allow into that account each year. But be wise about investing for your retirement— if you don’t under- stand the differences between the two types of IRAs and the investment possibilities for growing your money (as well as the tax ramifications that go along with that), seek the counsel of a trusted financial adviser. It’s all part of growing a bigger nest egg so that someday you can become a retiree with a lifestyle you love and can afford. 

Calm the mind by breathing deeply five times from your belly, like you naturally did when you were a baby. Stop the mental thought chatter and just “be.” Experience the present moment as it eternally renews itself in infinite diversity. To be mindful is to have an awareness of the moment without thinking or talking about it. By slowing the breath and thought, you will experience tranquility and happiness. 

When your train doesn’t arrive on time or your flight is delayed, see the opportunities—get out your laptop or a notepad and make a list of positive things that could come about because of the delay. Think of that “stolen time” as a blessing that gives you extra time to use in myriad ways. You could: 

• Make some phone calls
• Catch up on paperwork
• Study a map
• Brainstorm some new adventures
• Write some postcards, emails, or posts