Month: June 2019

Want to get quickly overwhelmed and give up on making a positive change as soon as you’ve begun making it? Then try to handle a big change all at once. It won’t work. Tackling a big lifestyle change should start with small, basic steps. If you try to do too much too quickly, you will get frustrated, resent the change, and eventually give up on it. Instead, start with small, easy-to-manage steps and gradually add more steps over time. 

“What other people think of you is none of your business.” This quote is true on so many levels—what other people think of you should not affect the way you live your life. Some people will not like you no matter what you do, so it’s no use trying to change yourself to meet someone else’s expectations. Be yourself, express your thoughts as you see fit, and be comfortable in your own skin. If others don’t appreciate you, that is their issue, not yours. 

Learning has been widely documented as a key variable when it comes to health and longevity. When people are engaged in doing and learning new things, their well-being and happiness increase significantly. Find something you have always wanted to know about and set out to research it! Learn how it works, where it came from, what it does, anything and everything you can. Expand your mind, and not just on a superficial level—really explore this new thing with ferocity. Your mind and your mood will thank you. 

Sure, you’ve probably done some great stuff in your life. Sure, you may have great education or training or experience. But you know what? None of that makes you smarter or better or more insightful than anyone else. It just makes you unique. The more you learn or the higher you rise, the more likely you are to think that you know everything—and the more likely you are to feel like you should tell everyone else what to do. But preaching at someone is really just a form of judging. It’s speaking to them as if they have a lower status in life or are less intelligent, and while they may hear you, they certainly won’t listen to you. Preaching at someone rarely leaves you feeling good about yourself—instead, it robs you of your happiness.

What do you want to do with your life? If you want to be happier about your work and your future, then find something that has real meaning for you. No matter what your goal is or how big it is, research has proven that if your goal has a sense of meaning for you, you will be happier pursuing it. If you know your work has a meaningful and positive impact on others or the world, you will be happier pursuing that path. 

A decades-long study at Harvard University came to the conclusion that the ability to be intimate with another person was one of the strongest predictors of health and happiness. Those people who were commitment-phobic or intimacy-phobic were among the unhappiest people. (Of course these findings only apply to “rational” love and not unrequited, abusive, obsessive, or harmful love.) So, choose a partner whom you can love and respect and who feels the same way about you. Show affection: kiss, cuddle, and compliment your partner often. Share your troubles and your triumphs, your fears and your dreams. Evidence shows that a good, solid relationship will not only make you happier, it may even help you live longer. 

Many people see something they want and immediately buy it. If you do that over and over again, this philosophy can lead you into certain debt. Don’t live beyond your means. Doing so has been proven to cause stress and anxiety; it also leads to conflicts among spouses or family members. Spending less than you earn in our materially driven society is not always easy, but the feelings of security and peace that come with not being in debt will certainly bring you more happiness than any purchase ever could. 

Looking up at a sky full of stars is not only a meditative exercise that can help you feel more calm and centered, it also teaches you perspective. Contemplating the vastness and distance of space and the universe will help give you a new angle on your life and problems . . . and stargazing will help you discover the beauty of nature too. Stargazing can also be a kind of meditation; the calm peacefulness of gazing up at the stars can help quiet your mind and the stresses of your day. As an additional bonus the time spent outside, even as little as twenty minutes, will also be a big happiness booster. 

There is pain in life. At some point in your glorious life, you will be unhappy, hurt, or depressed. These things are natural and are part of everyone’s human experience. The most important thing during these times is to not beat yourself up about feeling the way you do. Feeling bad or embarrassed about feeling bad will not help you; in fact, those additional negative feelings may just drag you down even further. Instead, acknowledge your feelings—they are nothing to be ashamed of. Accepting the pain and difficulty of a situation is one of the ways to help your- self get out of it and back on the path to happiness. 

Our complex, busy lives only add to our stress and unhappiness. Break down the complexities of your day and find ways to simplify your life. Does your family really need more than one car? Do you need more than one credit card? Having more things in your life doesn’t bring more freedom or happiness—in fact, in many cases, having more things limits these qualities. Your standard of life does not necessarily reflect your quality of life. If you simplify your life, the stresses of life will fade.