Happiness Hacks

Everyone gets to a point where it seems like it’s time to give up on something, whether it’s a project or a relationship. When you reach that point, before you give up, give another 10 percent of your effort. If you were already all in, then ratchet up to 110 percent and try again. Even if the endeavor doesn’t work out in the end, you’ll know you gave it all you had, and that in and of itself will make you feel hap- pier. Often, we regret something most when we feel like we could have put in a little more effort. Don’t let that happen to you! 

We all do it: when someone is rude to us, we tend to get offended even if we don’t even know the person. Instinctively, we think we did something wrong to make that person act like a jerk to us. Usually, though, that’s not the case—the other person is really the one with the problem. People tend to take out their pent-up anger and deep-rooted issues on those around them. Try to realize that and stop taking every- thing so personally. The next time somebody calls you a name or says you aren’t good enough, don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. When you internalize that, you’ll let go of the need to be perfect for others, and you’ll start to see yourself more clearly (and be more happy). 

We constantly seek acceptance from those around us and try to find satisfaction from the approval of others, but in the end, we still feel empty. You may dress a certain way or do certain things to fit in with those around you, but all you achieve is changing yourself. The secret to becoming a happier person is to relinquish the need to impress others and to realize that the only person who needs your approval is you. Sure, it’s nice to be praised for your work and it’s nice to make your parents proud, but those shouldn’t be the main reasons you do what you do. Everything you are and everything you achieve should be only for you! Pleasing others is an added bonus. 

People always say “I’ll be happier when I lose ten pounds” or “I’ll be happier when I get that job” or “I’ll be happier when I go on my dream vacation,” but none of those statements are true. Happiness comes from living in the moment, not from some future abstract event. If you put your happiness on hold for a future event, you are robbing yourself of having happiness now. 

You can select your mood for the day the same way you choose your clothes, so choose to be happy! No one else can make you happy—you are in charge of your own happiness. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you won’t feel happy. Don’t let anyone take your happiness away from you. 

There are some things you cannot change: your height, your past, your upbringing. There is no sense in letting these things weigh you down. You need to keep moving forward and learning from the mistakes you’ve made. Spending your time worrying about things you cannot change will only rob you of happiness. Instead, focus on what you do have and be grateful. 

All too often, we are our own worst enemies. While it’s good to be aware of mistakes you’ve made in the past and improvements you can make in the future, beating yourself up on a regular basis is a surefire way to wind up singing the blues. In fact, self-criticism can just make you more miserable. So instead of dwelling on your past failures, focus on how and why you value yourself. This shift will make you stronger, more productive, less stressed . . . and, yes, happier. 

When you meet people who are positive thinkers and content with their lives, ask what makes them feel that way. Maybe ask if you can interview them as part of re- search you’re doing for an article about happy people. Pose questions in a way that will draw out their answers—rather than asking simple yes or no questions, ask the kind of questions that will prompt long and thoughtful responses. Encourage them to share their tips for cultivating a happy life. Afterward, if you are feeling ambitious, you really can write that article and pitch it to a local newspaper or neighborhood newsletter. 

Is there something you’ve always been intrigued about doing but never had the knowledge to attempt? Maybe you’ve always wanted to create stained-glass art or cook a gourmet meal or create your own jewelry. Whatever it is, enroll in a hands- on class and learn about it. A class can walk you through an in-depth exploration of your interest, provide all the necessary materials needed for a project, and provide you with a knowledgeable instructor who can guide you along the path to success. You’ll meet new people in your class too. Who knows? One (or more) of them might become friends, and you might wind up spending many happy hours together creating works of art. 

Another way get some happiness is to perform a small act of kindness and give someone else a gift. Gifts can be anything. For example, you could buy someone’s coffee ahead of you in the coffee line. Just tell the cashier “That woman’s coffee is on me” and then smile at the person and tell her to have a great day. Or maybe you could pick some flowers from your garden and take them to a neighbor, or offer someone your seat on the bus. You’ll be surprised at how good you’ll feel after giving someone else a gift. The gift-giving experience can be a way to find deeper meaning in life. Think of gifts that do not cost any money: a smile for a stranger, holding a door open for someone, or helping someone put groceries in their car. In just a few minutes, you could give a gift for no reason at all that could have a profound impact on some- one else’s life.